Everyone’s cool and now it’s boring.
Everyday my feeds on social media are filled with ‘cool girl recommendations’, from nails, to bags to even hobbies. We’ve managed to capitalise off of every aspect of our daily lives, so it makes me wonder: why do we care to be cool?
The ‘cool girl’ has remained a well upheld archetype of female, most notably in Hollywood. Under this title the media often provides examples of Megan Fox, Jennifer Lawrence and Sydney Sweeney. These were the girls who were a satisfactory level of attractiveness to male audiences, presented themselves in a feminine way, yet still allowed themselves to indulge in a burger once in a while when they felt a little crazy, unlike ‘the rest of us’.
Social Standing: the media’s ’cool girl’ mood board
Compared to previous aesthetics promoted amongst female audiences, this one appears to be the most relaxed and achievable for all — but I don’t believe this to be the case. Becoming ‘cool’ is just another form of social currency: which we’ve long associated with beauty. But these currencies have no limit, there is no end goal. Because both must be adapted to what each era demands: being slim thick then skinny, having a chiselled facial structure then a soft, childlike structure. It’s clear by these examples how we’re experiencing another pandemic of the physical infantilisation of women. This process isn’t natural for women’s bodies to endure such stark changes to their physical appearance.
I think it’s interesting to note also, the lexical choice of ‘cool girl’ when titling a trend targeted at women in their 20s. As a mass-marketed aesthetic, this is no mistake. There is consistency in the desired innocence of the trend’s picture girl: someone who’s low-maintenance and spontaneous — traits we associate with youth, not mature, independent women. It restricts autonomy, establishing the idea that women continue to mould themselves to fit into male-dominated spaces in order to achieve the approval of others. And this is why Lawrence and Fox couldn’t sustain their image. At the 2016 Golden Globes, Lawrence criticised a reporter for reading a question off of his phone: being too entitled, and in 2015 had signified alliance with a wage inequality essay: being too demanding. In 2009, Fox described director Michael Bay as an “insane, infamous mad-man” and “a nightmare to work for”. For context, Michael Bay directed her to dance in a bikini under a waterfall in Bad Boys II when she was 15 years old, though Fox has since clarified that she was never preyed upon or assaulted, this early sexualisation made her uncomfortable.
This is where Sweeney differs, as she has managed to sustain her cool girl image in the tabloids (for now). But this has only been achieved by doubling down on the media’s sexualisation of her. This was evident in her partnering with soap brand Dr. Squatch to promote a limited-edition soap bar directed at men, called “Sydney’s Bathwater Bliss”. Limited to 5000 bars, it sold out in seconds. Her depiction of heavily sexualised characters, notably her character Cassie from Euphoria (for whom she allegedly fought to keep in provocative scenes, aiming for ‘authenticity’, which audiences deemed as unnecessary), have worsened her relationship with female audiences. While she’s managed to stay largely protected by the media, this isn’t sustainable as the show must go on, Hollywood will find a new young girl to knock her off the pedestal.
Red carpet to real people: where do we stand?
It’s important to note that many aspects of and ‘coolness’ were initially popularised by ethnic groups: bangles from South-East Asia, nail art from Egypt and matcha from China.
In an article from 2018 about ‘Why aren’t dark-skinned black women used to advertise street wear in the UK?’ written by Yomi Adegoke, she writes a compelling quote: “The darker the woman, the less visible she is. Therefore, dark-skinned black women are not used to illustrate ‘urban’ inner-city culture in the way dark-skinned black men are, for which attractiveness is not a prerequisite”. The appropriation of culture by the ‘cool girl’ isn’t unique to this trend, as it’s been a point of controversy in most mainstream trends, yet still hasn’t been properly addressed, instead we just wait for the next trend to roll around so that we can brush it under the carpet…again. It reminds me of the quote “Everybody wanna be Black, but nobody wanna be Black” — highlighting our willingness to embrace and profit off of elements of Black culture, and others, (music, slang, fashion), without experiencing the realities of systematic racism that come with it.
Another notable element of the ‘cool girl’ that ties to this, is her situ in major urban cities: London, Paris, NYC. Places that have undergone and continue to experience gentrification. Gentrification was conceptualised by British sociologist Ruth Glass in 1964, who used it to describe the demographic and physical changes happening in working-class districts of London such as Notting Hill, where middle class ‘gentry’ began moving into housing that had been deteriorated and thus displaced long-established residents. This mirrors the nature of these cultural elements that are ‘reimagined’ without due credit in the ‘cool girl aesthetic’. She stands as a personification of this concept, redeveloping something to make it marketable to the white middle class — this is why we see most social media ‘cool girls’ as thin, white, middle class women.
How it goes unnoticed:
Alongside the constant use of the word ‘cool’, is the word ‘niche’. This is often used in a sarcastic context, such as a social media post having a low like count and the account owner joking that ‘it’s niche’. This masked defence ties to an interesting concept in social psychology. Humans have the internal desire to both fit in and stand out simultaneously under the term ‘Optimal Distinctiveness Theory’, as proposed by Dr. Marilynn B. Brewer. This is a pattern across female-dominated trends, the desire of an unlikely balance: being mysterious whilst also being friends with everyone, being outgoing but not viewed as ‘too much’ by anyone. There’s an unrealistic element to all of these trends, a supposed ‘balance’ which rather presents itself as an oxymoron, permitting the harmful expectation that women must ‘do it all because now they have more liberties and therefore can’ to persevere. Which further prompts me to question whether the ‘cool girl’ is desirable because she’s achievable, or because she’s untouchable?
Recognising the truth of the marketing behind ‘the cool girl’ can be both a humbling and frustrating experience, explaining why so many people so often resort to claiming “it’s not that deep“. This however, is inaccurate. It is that deep, but we must understand nuance in these conversations. You can disagree with the intention and promotion of such a trend, but still partake in elements. Don’t get me wrong, I‘m constantly sending my friends ‘cool girl nail inspo’ photo dumps because I know they like to have fun nail sets, and I’ve saved videos of ‘cool girl London spots’ because I don’t want to spend hours trawling through reviews and google maps when I just want to catch up with my friends. And this is applicable in so many contexts for women: you can shave your legs because you want to, but still acknowledge that it’s an outcome and expectation of the patriarchy. I think we too often gloss over important conversations by saying “it’s not that deep” because it would involve taking accountability, and as some may view it, admitting ‘defeat’ and weakness against the patriarchy as we abide by the same rules we call out. I think this line became blurred during the Third-wave feminism of the 90s, otherwise known as ‘lipstick feminism’, and since. This was when women began to ‘reclaim’ elements of femininity which had previously been rejected by the feminist movement. Through the 2010s we evolved the concept of ‘choice feminism’, the idea that ‘it’s empowering to do it if she chooses to do it’. But we can see how this argument falls flat when considering discussions of sex-work and the expected destination of a woman’s life being in the kitchen.
It’s not a bad thing to want to be cool, everyone does. But there’s a difference between the authentic compliment “you’re so cool” and the mass-marketed aesthetic of a ‘girl’ with the sole purpose of selling us something we didn’t even ask for.
I think a perfect conclusion to this article would be the thoughts of Gillian Flynn, author of Gone Girl, which were in a short written interview at the end of the book, presenting her thoughts on what the ‘Cool Girl’ really is.
Does ‘Cool Girl’ exist?
I think there are lower-case cool girls — women who are interesting and smart and funny and their own people with their own strange likes and dislikes — but ‘Cool Girl’ doesn’t exist, because she’s a male fabrication. Obviously the point of that whole diatribe is that there are plenty of women who do pretend to be ‘Cool Girl’, who pretend to like everything the guy they like likes and who play into certain stereotypes that are actually really not, on the whole, helpful to women. (Or men for that matter). To pretend to be today’s ’Cool Girl’ is just as restrictive and confining as it was for women back in the 1950s who were forced into the ‘Happy Homemaker’ role. It’s sad, though, since today we actually have the choice to be who we are — and we’re still not making that choice. We’re still too often moulding ourselves into what we believe will be pleasing to men. — Gillian Flynn, author of ‘Gone Girl’
Sources:
Dr. Squatch YouTube channel, “Dirty little boys” (Dr. Squatch | "Dirty Little Boys" | Natural Body WashYouTube · Dr. Squatch8.3m+ views · 1 year ago)
Literature curry, History of Bangles, its presence in literature and the separation of the culture from political, (https://literaturecurry.com/blog-details/145/history-of-bangles-its-presence-in-literature)
Matchaful, The History of Matcha, (https://www.matchaful.com/pages/the-history-of-matcha?srsltid=AfmBOooVdeqhr4WCsxw8w7ZaV8McKXWZ2SS-UrIg2P96Zxwl6YJZYjf4)
Medium — Yomi Adegoke, Why aren’t dark-skinned black women used to advertise streetwear in the UK?, https://medium.com/@yomiadegoke/why-arent-dark-skinned-black-women-used-to-advertise-streetwear-in-the-uk-6948b674e4b9
Science Direct, Chapter 2 — Optimal Distinctiveness Theory: A Framework for Social Identity, Social Cognition, and Intergroup Relations(https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/chapter/bookseries/abs/pii/S0065260110430026)
The Guardian, Jennifer Lawrence scolds reporter for using phone during Golden Globes press conference, (https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/jan/11/jennifer-lawrence-scolds-reporter-mobile-cell-phone-73rd-golden-globes-press-conference)
The Guardian, Jennifer Lawrence expresses anger at Hollywood’s gender pay gap,(https://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/oct/13/jennifer-lawrence-hollywood-gender-pay-gap)
The Guardian, From ancient Egypt to Cardi B: a cultural history of the manicure,(https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2021/jan/27/from-ancient-egypt-to-cardi-b-a-cultural-history-of-the-manicure)
UCL, Ruth Glass and coining ‘gentrification’, (https://www.ucl.ac.uk/bartlett/ideas/100-years-bartlett/ruth-glass-and-coining-gentrification)
Vanity Fair, Megan Fox denies being “preyed upon” by Michael Bay,(https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2020/06/megan-fox-michael-bay-statement?srsltid=AfmBOopA-8VHrL48gpf57jufAnhzW_AuV46uDmWYQsxAsbZ4FsMsVwoR)
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